Brought to you with tongue in cheek by www.ForeXcellentProfits.com (a defunct web site ;-)
Sure those TV commercials make Forextrading look 'easy'... but that's for wimps! To lose the really BIG bux, you need to make Forex trading DIFFICULT, and that's where we come in!
Trust Us ... You Won't Find This Kind of Iron Clad Guarantee Anywhere!
Learn how to lose money in all of the following cities!!!
West Overshoe, Idaho
East Podunk, Louisiana
Desperation Gulch, Utah
North Armpit, Iowa
Landfill, New Jersey
Here is our heartfelt promise to you: start with THOU$ANDS of DOLLAR$ you absolutely cannot afford to lose (put it on a credit card if you have to), then follow the blinking lights. If your Forex account isn't completely empty in one month, we will cheerfully charge your credit card all over again so you can repeat our entire course at additional cost. You have everything to lose!
Amazing New Indicator Just Added!
As proof that we never cease working to make your trading experience as, uh, interesting as possible, we just added our new Diurnal Undulating Histogram (DUH)!
Check Out These Unbelievable Testimonials! (believe at your own risk)
"A slam dunk for someone on the fence wondering whether they should trade Forex or baseball cards." — American Bankruptcy Lawyers Association
"forexmadedifficult.com has done more to bring down the U.S. economy and hemorrhage the average American's savings than the entire U.S./China trade imbalance, corporate job outsourcing, and the loss of American manufacturing to southeast Asia combined.
This web site is a true Weapon of Math Destruction." — Rocky Roads of Plexus Ezine
"Never before have so few done so little for so many." — Stubby Candles, Custodian for The Institute Of Higher Earning
"We will take all necessary legal action." — Interpol
You're Going to Love Our Course!
Are you the type of person who will shell out $4,995 or more for a course that hits you up for continuing monthly fees just to use their software and data feed? ... you are?!!! ... One that charges you for upgrades, and even requires you to trade through their brokers? ... No kidding, you really are?!? ... That's GREAT! ... Then you definitely need our...
Sure-Fire Indicators That Have Never Failed To Fail!
We don't advocate losing lots and lots of money based on simplistic blinking lights that scream BUY and SELL. That's way too easy. To be truly unprofitable, trading should be made difficult. Which is why we provide you with proprietary, sure-fire indicators which have NEVER FAILED TO LOSE.
We spared no expense to obtain these indicators from our brother-in-law Louis who knows a guy in Mexico who used to carpool with a trader who once worked at First Credit Suisse in Singapore and was their top house trader until he left an unhedged position open through the weekend and wiped out a two hundred year old bank.
Others have paid many THOU$ANDS of DOLLAR$ for these special indicators, butyou get them all FREE with our Forex Made Difficult home-study course.
Take a look at this actual screen shot from our charting platform!
You're Going To LOVE Our Indicators!
Diurnal Undulating Histogram (DUH)
In a discovery that is certain to rock the FX industry to its core,forexmadedifficult.com researchers (including Ernie in shipping) have unearthed a phenomenon that will revolutionize trading forever (ordinarily, we don't publish the 'secrets' behind our proprietary signals, however our new Diurnal Undulating Histogram is of such groundbreaking significance that we simply had to let the world know). Think of it as our gift to you. Here it is:
:: On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, the Forex market goes Up and Down and Up and Down;
:: On Tuesdays and Thursdays it goes Down and Up and Down and Up.
Can you believe this? How could we have been so blind? Add DUH to your charts and you'll catch EVERY MOVE THE MARKET EVER MAKES AGAIN, REGARDLESS OF DIRECTION!!! You'll be 'in the game' at all times, and certain to catch every single trend, forever. You're welcome.
Bi-Directional Impending New Growth Oscillator(BINGO)
It took three solid weeks of processing on a 1973 Cray supercomputer we found in a dumpster behind the M.I.T. Student Center to come up with this amazing indicator. Even we didn't believe it at first! But thanks to extensive back testing it will guarantee that you'll always miss the really big moves even before they start to happen. How much money could you lose with that blinking on your screen? That's right, a lot.
Rapidly Advancing Numeric Divergence Oscillator Motion (RANDOM)
This powerful indicator that will assure you of always being 100% certain of staying on the wrong side of each emerging trend. It appears at random at various locations on your screen. It's proximity to price is the surest predictor of negative price action we've ever seen.
Big Underlying Developments (BUD)
Our personal favorite! It takes all of the tension out of trading. After a few of these, trading anxiety will never be an issue for you.
Diverging Advance Retracement Timer (DART)
With this indicator you'll have better than a 99.9% chance of mis-forecasting price direction. Throw a DART at your charts and you'll miss the bulls eye every time!
Extra Sensitive Predictor (ESP)
Many of our students love ESP because it takes 100% of the guesswork out of price direction since you'll know where price is going before price itself even knows where it's going! You don't actually put this indicator on the screen, it broadcasts to you subcutaneously via your local wireless network.
Over-Under Incremental Jumping Averages (OUIJA)
This mystical indicator will have you gliding in and out of weakening trends with so much ease it'll feel downright spooky!
Price Dynamic Quotients (PDQ)
This speedy indicator will make sure your trades are taken off the table at the exact momentof minimum profit, sometimes even sooner!
Millions Of Losing Traders Can't Be Wrong!
Unsuccessful scalpers everywhere agree: Our breakthrough Forex Made Difficult auto-pilot system is a revolution in thoughtless trading. Using sophisticated black box technology pioneered by the NSA (No Such Agency) you get blinking lights that tell you when to buy, when to sell and even when to think ... so you don't have to!
Version 9.11 not only uses the state-of-the art indicators listed above, but act in the next 5 minutes and we'll throw in our Divergent Unified Modulator Breakout system (DUMB) , combined with our all-new Automated Secret Signals super-indicator (ASS), plus our patented maximized profits Digital Order Price Execution System (DOPE) - plus - our blisteringly hot new Lateral Oscillating Strategic Stochastic Entry System (LOSSES) to ensure that you participate in any major down moves that the other indicators miss.
You Get ALL This!
Let's summarize. For the low, low price of just $9,995 you get our entire Forex Made Difficult home-study course which includes BINGO, RANDOM, BUD, DART, ESP,OUIJA and PDQ.
Order within the next 5 minutes and we'll include DUMB, ASS, DOPE and LOSSES for what others charge for LOSSES alone!
But there's more!
Act in the next 60 seconds and we'll throw in our new ForeXtraTax e-trade module that routes your trades directly to the IRS so that taxes can automatically be deducted from your trading account in real-time, thereby alleviating the manual self-assessment process. Think of the time you'll save! Not to mention all those losses you can carry forward or back (check with your accountant for loss carry forward and carry back rules).
Losing Money In Forex Doesn't Have To Be 'Easy'!
Go ahead ... make it tough on yourself. Take your losses like a man.
What's another $9,995? You blew $4,995 already.
Don't delay, enroll today! We need the money We can always squeeze in another warm body! There's a seat waiting with your name on it. So act now, while operators are laughing hilariously standing by.
OK, Let's Get Serious ...
We hope you enjoyed reading this as much as we did writing it. The truth is that many a trader walks around with their umbilical cord in their hand, looking for a guru to plug it into.
If the skill to master Forex trading is what you seek, we invite you to visit our real site at www.ForeXcellentProfits.com. Tell us Ernie sent you. ;-)
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